Dear 2015 me #BehindTheBlogger

December 30, 2015 § 14 Comments

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” Sigmund Freud
Lago Di Como

Dear 2015 me,

Consider:

  • Have your challenges been inherently insightful or oppressive; would you extol them to another knowing that they have been proportionately onerous and bracing.
  • What invaluable abilities did you gain this year?
  • What has ‘failure’ taught you?
  • What would you like to leave behind?
  • Who am you becoming?

 

2015 has been a year of paradox consisting of great joy, complexity and conflict – all of which served to remind me of the strength of the human spirit plus the dual blessings of self-mastery and good conduct (which has greater meaning than not having mood dictate manners, behaviour or attitude). Benjamin Disraeli (Former British Prime Minister) said “circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power”. This is one of a few personal mantras.

Do any of us stop and contemplate our personal progression? It’s a remarkable journey which has included endurance, perseverance amidst consistent obstacles and discouragement; there’s weariness AND satisfaction in not giving up, in replenishing hope whilst modelling kindness, compassion and forgiveness instead of justifying resentments and bitterness.  It takes much courage to heal and flourish rather than wither. Thanks to my faith I have emerged stronger having been tested by adversity and am grateful for the following valuable lessons :

  • Practice mindful self-care. Contrary to myth practising self-care  doesn’t have to equate to the neglect of someone or something else. It’s about replenishing yourself daily – emotionally, mentally, physically as well as ‘being’ versus ‘doing’. The combination of awareness, mindfulness of mind, body, emotions and being present during the self-care – rather than regard it as something to tick off the to do list will align you for tranquility, enable you to feel peaceful, healthier, build resilience, cultivate quality connections and instill a sense of purposefulness.
  • Continue to strive for self actualisationObserve internal dialogue. Monitoring personal dialogue (self beliefs (myths/messages), dialogue, fears/ anxieties, an unquiet mind etc) is useful for exploring, dispelling and eschewing any judgements or labels in favour of internal peace and personal empowerment. Realigning has helped me focus on and decide who I am destined to become, plus fulfil the highest, truest expression of myself as my Father demonstrated.
  • You will be criticized. Discern what is constructive and what is empty rhetoric. As Les Brown aptly states “someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your personal reality”.
  • Don’t take on the internal struggle of others – else what weighs you down will not actually be yours to carry. As a stepmother, I experience rejection on an almost hourly basis. My antidote to this is to increase self-care, practice good conduct, kindness plus be congenial.
  • Let go of things that cannot be controlled and of those who have gone. It’s still possible to cultivate connection via numerous social circles and communities. The power of support is transformative.
  • I am doing well. Additionally, I am confident, strong and healthy.
  • I make no apology for my determination. I am a self-starter who takes responsibility for myself and my own behavior. I have no fan club yet remain devoted to accomplishing life’s primary goals (which are in service to myself and others) – including continuing personal growth.
  • Good conduct.  Manners aren’t archaic or for the idealistic – they’re viable and valuable. So is integrity, authenticity and kindness. People notice, even when you think they’re oblivious.
  • Which of us has lived without making a mistake? J.K. Rowling pertinently said “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
  • Model the behavioural changes you wish to see.  Non violent communication (NVC) is essential for mindful communication. It’s a great tool which consists of four doable steps that help me overcome my habitual responses (e.g. programming of existing communication styles), allowing me to cultivate a deeper connection, foster compassion and to respond vs react (thus complimenting my mindful self-care needs). As with the acquisition or finessing of any skill set, it requires practice.
  • Listen. “Don’t think or judge, just listen.” Listening to understand (rather than to respond) has proven insightful, enabling me to increase emotional intelligence, to ‘feel’ and intuitively understand others with my heart by perceiving the subtext and context of their communication. It also gave me a fresh appreciation and reignited my love of people.
  • SPEAK UP. It’s important to seek justice for others – particularly those who have no voice. WE – mankind are the real everyday heroes who effect the positive change within our communities. Let’s remember that we’re capable of great acts of bravery and altruism. I have learnt that suppressing my feelings in order to keep peace, kept no peace within my heart and allowed deplorable things to continue.
  • Continue to follow your instinct and set your own standards. I love the idea of living my idea of your life, every day, autonomously, with adventure, integrity, purpose, without inhibition, shame or guilt, with liberation – as I have been positively taught.
  • The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill (Former British Prime Minister).

 

I approach 2016 with confidence and excitement. It’s a liberating thought that my life has no checklist for material acquisitions or achievements. The most important endeavours are centric to happiness, persevering and leaving the world a better place then I have found it (all the things that matter most).

Let’s talk about you…
– How do you find tranquility in your everyday life?
– What are your practices? Are they created or inherited from childhood? Some of mine are inherent / inherited – go here to read more.

 

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§ 14 Responses to Dear 2015 me #BehindTheBlogger

  • Becki S says:

    Wonderful reminders as I get ready to set intentions for 2016! For me I recharge when reading a book (in the flesh and not on my iPad)!

  • My personal goal for 2016 is to continue worrying less and having less anxiety. Another goal is to not buy any toys or books for my kids next year. We have more than plenty and we can use our fun money for experiences instead.

  • Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    Keep doing what you’re doing. Sounds like you are doing it right.

  • I find tranquility thru meditation, simplicity (no shopping as a hobby) and continuing the slow movement in my life =) All is good.

  • I find tranquility by praying or my sitting quietly inside the church, letting my heart speak to God. It gives me inner peace and I find a renewed faith in God’s plans for me.

  • Such great reminders on this New Years Eve. I really enjoyed this and it got me thinking! Happy New Year!

  • Farrah says:

    These are all such important life lessons. I really need to work on the speaking up part!

    Happy New Year!

  • Joely Smith says:

    I absolutely love this part: “Which of us has lived without making a mistake? J.K. Rowling pertinently said “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.””

    Although I love all of your post.
    So many wonderful things to consider!

    Thank you for sharing so many insightful thoughts, and Happy New Year!

  • I’m making a lot of changes this year! I’m excited about it! Finding tranquility through nature is one of them.

  • Marie A. Carter says:

    I am put many changes in place and I’m looking forward to the personal growth. I find tranquility through prayer, meditation and solitude. Thank you for the lessons you have shared they will be very helpful on my journey.

  • Awwww sounds like you’re on the right path!!! Keep doing all the things that make you fabulous 🙂

  • Emme says:

    I like the encouragement to take time to relax and enjoy life. It is true self belief is a great motivator. It propels you forward when things gets difficult. Thanks

  • Jonathan says:

    Very insightful and well written, you are doing very well, remainging positive and motivated whilst carrying the difficulties of life and family

  • mrsdchastain says:

    I’m trying to focus more on myself this coming up year. I haven’t been and I think I’ve lost part of myself always worrying about/caring for others. So it will be mid to meet me again.

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