A manual for all of your collisions
January 9, 2016 § 8 Comments
Nearly everything is replaceable
early on, when the world is large & you
are small. but still.
you will lose everyone you love;
one by one each will leave you.
the world will shrink. little things.
old books. tea sets. trash bags. bigger:
your gardener may fly off, up into the sky
or tremble violently across the horizon.
your family will make its own unique silence
& topple through the ground.
sad as they are, these things are
& they are bound to happen.
fate or whatever
will leave no trace.
but you can imagine them back,
into your sleep, early some nights.
besides. there are more gardeners,
if that’s what you’re looking for.
& a family is something you construct;
it changes size capriciously.
look: the shoreline’s awash in new dogs and trash.
things vanish. people
vanish. it’s ok.
please, stop avoiding loss.
rush into it. b/c, & please
remember, all at once & eventually:
you will leave them, too.
this is all living is.
why should you ever have expected
By Jamison Crabtree | Photo courtesy of Paolo Nacpil
I enjoy the paradox of this poem because it resonates personally on many levels regarding loss, grief plus about choosing to carrying no resentment or bitterment. Rather than observe the loss as something so weighted it could be tangibly carried in both hands, I prefer to dwell on the positive. By considering what is gained plus maintaining a perspective of “this is all living is” – part of life’s natural ebb and flow, I can move on.
It is said that when you move on, the universe moves with you – meaning a change of paradigm irreversibly changes our purview, and vice versa. The same principle applies to loss – which can also become a ‘gain’ when experienced from a re-famed perspective that would cultivate renewal or liberation. Once i’d realised that a loss is not always a loss, the experience became about growing and nurturing greater resilience (the world did not cease to rotate & I am adept at starting over). I have a greater appreciation for those who have / do make a positive difference in my life without taking them for granted.